The New Teletubby

I heard there was a new teletubby. Jerry Falwell rated him as slightly less offensive than the apparently gay Tinky-Winky. He didn't take too well among kids, but for some reason, parents seem to identify with him.

Name: Thanatos
Sex: Male
Color: Black
Shape on top of head: pentagram
Favorite toy: Blood-filled cauldron
"TV on belly" shows: The video from "The Ring"

Episode appearance 1:

Narrator: La-la bounces her ball
La-la: Uh-oh! La-la ball stuck in tree!
Narrator: Maybe Tinky Winky can help!
Narrator: Tinky Winky throws his bag up in the air.
Narrator: Maybe the bag will knock the ball out of the tree.
Tinky Winky: Uh-oh! Tinky Winky bag stuck in tree!
Narrator: Maybe Dipsy can help!
Narrator: Dipsy throws his hat up in the air to get the bag out of the tree.
Dipsy: Uh-oh! Dipsy hat stuck in tree!
Narrator: Maybe Thanatos can help!
Narrator: Thanatos no! Not that! Aaaaagh!
Narrator: Now the tree is all burnt down. Silly Thanatos!

Episode appearance 2 (spoken by Narrator):

Look! It's Thanatos.
But where are the rabbits?
Thanatos! Do YOU know where the rabbits are?
Thanatos? What did you do to the rabbits?
Oh, Thanatos! What a naughty Thanatos!

Episode appearance 3 (spoken by Narrator):

There's Tinky Winky, playing with his bag! How he loves to play with his bag!
There's Dipsy with his hat. Dipsy loves his hat.
And now here's La-la playing with her ball. Bounce, bounce, bounce. La-la loves her ball!
Look at Po! Po rides her scooter here and there, there and here. She loves her scooter.
Oh, and here's Thanatos! Thanatos is marking off the days with a piece of chalk! Thanatos is waiting for death.