Just for fun

I don't know why I read articles from women.msn.com because they always seem so full of bad, sexist advice. Maybe I like to torture myself.

This one was sent to me by a co-worker: http://women.msn.com/806748.armx?GT1=4529

Here's my response to him: (He thought it was funny. Maybe a little scary. But he sent it along to his wife and sister, for whatever that's worth.)

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Mary Ann says: "If I have to look at your tools in the front yard for one more day, I'm going to scream."

Love says: "I'd like to make the place look nice for my book club. So sometime this weekend, could you bring your tools into the garage?"

Barb says: "Oh look! Here comes the trash truck. Bye bye tools that used to be in the front yard!"

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Donna says: "If you spent as much time playing sports as you did watching them, you might be able to lose some weight."

Love says: "I've decided I want to get in better shape, and I thought it would be fun if we did something together."

Barb says: "See ya later! I'm off to my work out with my new personal trainer...he's so strong and muscular, I'm bound to get in shape!

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Rachel says: "You bought another piece of stereo equipment? How the hell do you expect to send our kids to college if you're blowing all this cash on junk?"

Love says: "I'm getting a bit worried that we're not saving enough for the kids' education. Could we sit down sometime this week and go over our finances?"

Barb says: "You owe $X to the joint account, which covers bills, retirement and college. If you don't want to pay it, feel free to buy stereo equipment for your own damn apartment."

Tom says: "If we're going to get into a big thing about who's spending what, then I'd like to have all the numbers in front of me. I'm willing to compromise but she has to, too. Because frankly, those highlights she gets aren't cheap."

Barb says to Tom: "Hope you like gray hair! Oh, and also hairy legs and pits, because razors aren't cheap, either, y'know."

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Nora says: "Are you planning something special for my birthday?"

Love says: "You know what I would love to do for my birthday..."

Barb says: "I'm expecting a surprize party for my 30th birthday, and it better be good."

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Olivia says: "What do you mean you're going for a bike ride? Your parents are visiting next weekend and we still haven't repapered the upstairs bathroom."

Love says: "Why don't we spend a couple of hours straightening things up, and then we'll take a bike ride."

Barb says: "If your parents see fit to complain about the ugly bathroom, they can go look in the dirty old mirror up there and remember who raised you. I refuse to do their nagging for them!"

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And once your man does what you ask -- or better yet, takes the trash out on his own -- Love says it's crucial to give him positive feedback.

"Acknowledge and appreciate any activity that moves in the right direction. And be sure to listen to his point of view. Because sometimes taking a bike ride is actually what you both need to be doing."

Barb says: "This is wonderful advice for raising a child. Or a puppy."

Barb also says: "Will there never be a time when I need positive feedback for doing chores, because, well, I don't always feel like doing them? Or a time when he needs to hear my point of view in favor of slacking off? Nah. That might mean I'm not a perfect wife and mother, or even worse: that I don't want to be!"